Poem: Apology To My Mom

Responding to the “apology poem” prompt on Poetic Asides today. Was surprised to have something so personal pour out, but I know well enough not to turn off the tap when something starts to flow.

Apology To My Mom

I’m sorry it’s been so hard
to find you in my poems
now that you’re gone.

I’m sorry that I can’t be more
sentimental or pay tribute
with sweet words.

I’m sorry that I noticed
last month, how I stopped
gnawing my nails after you died.

I’m sorry that I started biting
them again, once
I realized I’d stopped.

I’m not sorry that in daylight,
with my daughters,
I love to talk about you.

But I am sorry that at night,
I have to push you down, out
so that I can sleep.

I’m sorry I can’t slice an
apple without thinking of
making strudel with you.

Sorry because I might
never make strudel
again.

I’m sorry your last years
were your worst,
and you knew it.

I’m sorry that as much as
I miss you, need you,
I never wish you back.

 

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