How To Keep Cool
(In Your Crappy Apartment During A Heat Wave)
Don’t think about the air-conditioned office that used to be routine.
Do remember that everything about that place, even the vent above your cubicle, and the iced coffees your boss brought you on Fridays, were clever ploys in the bigger plot to suck your soul.
Don’t think you need to move off your couch, unless it’s to get a cold beer from the six-pack you bought for that dude who bailed after date three.
Do take cold showers, or long icy baths. In the dark. Power’s not included in the rent, but water is.
Don’t wonder if excessive water consumption plus global warming equals danger for Mother Earth. It’s too hot for environmental ethics.
Do keep the curtains closed to make sure the sun stays out so you can stay naked after aforementioned baths or showers.
Don’t answer the phone when your Mom calls for the fifth time. You’ve reached your threshold for blood-boiling questions and comments.
Don’t have any fond recollections of your parent’s frigid basement, their backyard pool, or the fresh lemonade your Mom made whenever your friends came over to chill.
Do remind yourself that all things are temporary — even weather and unemployment.
Do sit on your balcony after dark. Watch skyscraper lights twinkle. Wait for the midnight crescendo of the city. Whisper until you believe: I am where I’m meant to be.
Where I live, the month of April has been anything but cool, so shrugging off jackets and slipping on sandals has been very cool. But the prompt today happily reminded me of Robyn Sarah’s “Villanelle For A Cool April.” I think I should stitch “Life’s sweetest savoured in the present tense” onto a plush pillow.