Decided to write something way different than I usually do by trying out the NaPoWriMo prompt to write a poem that incorporates homophones, homographs, and homonyms, or otherwise makes productive use of English’s ridiculously complex spelling rules and opportunities for mis-hearings and mis-readings. Tossed in a witch for good measure.

 

How to Dress For a Ball

 

“A ball!” she bawled, “I’ve never been allowed!”

“Why’ve those princes and princesses

asked this old maid now?”

She wondered aloud, “is it for naughty or nice?”

“A trick or a trap, a mistaken invite?”

Why they want her as guest is anyone’s guess,

if their kindness is a phase, meant to faze her

she will redress.

 

A witch has a role which shouldn’t be lessened,

if she agrees to go it will be to teach them a lesson.

Roll out the carpet for this crone

if you must, but do not groan when

she’s grown from a quean to a queen

in a gown and a crown.

 

She can sew so-so, but magic is best.

They’ll reap what they sow and likely say “Frack!”

when she wears her new frock, a truly bewitching dress.

To truly be seen she must make a scene,

a dye to cause dying hidden right in the seams.

“I’ll sidle up to their sides, rub the poisoned dress on their skins,”

“Too evil? ” she sighed, then wickedly grinned.

 

It had been their main game for forty-three years,

those tow-headed royals with their silky smooth manes,

to call her a toad, laugh at her green skin and beard.

They wanted her there to be the brute of the ball,

but the fate of this fête wouldn’t be up to them at all.

 

So she said a spell for her garb, made two fancy shoes too,

Looked in the mirror and nearly squawked “boo!”

A startling sight, at this site under full moon.

Who was this person, now beauty not crone?

Perhaps she’d keep this fine form

when she’d thrown them all from the throne.